Most times, the events which took place in previous relationships have a way of clamping together in our minds bringing memories that might in one way or the other make us think they are hazardous to our present relationships. But really, should there be any dern at all in our relationships?
Gabriel, a marketer in one of the leading Insurance firms in Lagos said the fact that people feel it is necessary for you not to keep any secret from your partner does not mean you should not.
"Sometimes back, my girlfriend told me when and how she was deflowered and how many men she has been with...and honestly, I have never had the same regard for her ever since," he narrates.
Surprised? As honest as Gabriel's opinion is, many people will still take a swipe at him. The lady was open to him that's why she could have told him something as sensitive as that....and even events that transpired between her and other men before Gabriel came into her life.
Would we say that being open in a relationship is tantamont to being regarded as less we are?
Clara, a businesswoman, is of the opinion that there are certain things one need not tell one's partner for peace' sakes.
"Men are of various species and you never can tell what might get at them and what won't, so it is best to know and censor everything you must let them know about your past. When your present is clean, forgetting about the past is a great option. Don't allow your past destroy your present," she advises.
Amazed? It is true that you should do all you can to never let your past deny you of enjoying the present but tell me, how do you enjoy the present when you have not finished dusting the cobwebs of your yesterday? How do you even forget about a past you have not come out clean to your partner on? Do you think your partner will be glad if he/she finds out on his/her own, the secret you have been shielding from him/her?
You must however note at this point that although coming out straight to your partner about past events of your life will at first feel like its not a good idea but trust your instincts, you will feel better the moment you say it. There are two possible aftermaths....The first is that your partner will be overtly angry at first, then you both make up later. Second is, your partner loves, cherishes and TRUSTS you more!
So which do you think is fair for you? Loving in deceit or making bold to tell your partner everything without holding back and damning the consequences?
By Odunayo Adams